I’ve hit another small bump along the aging highway. My vision is getting worse due to both cataracts and glaucoma! When I realized this could cause legal if not total blindness, I became very depressed about some of the things I would never see again. In no particular order, they were: Husband’s face, daughters’ faces, dog’s face, checkbook balance, colors, art, movies, trees, books, flowers, etc. etc. If you put these two pictures together, this is what my vision is like now.
I see things fuzzy with a lighted halo around them. To ease your fears and mine, there are many ways to treat these diseases. However, I couldn’t let this pass without exploring the funny things that can happen with impaired vision. And then the snark began…..
First of all, I will be much happier when I look in the mirror or at my body. I won’t see hair on my legs, wrinkles, grey hair, nose hair, chin hair, or age spots. My self esteem should soar.
Along with my self esteem improving, I should save a ton of money! I won’t buy the “creams & emollients” that will make me 10 years younger (which I buy after viewing the infomercials at 3AM on television)! I have boxes and bottles on shelves in the linen closet. I’ve been moisturized, peeled, smoothed, buffed, sand-blasted, tightened, acid-washed, wrapped, Botoxed, Juvadermed and bleached! Results have been sketchy at best. If I don’t see it, I won’t be bothered anymore! Here are some of my more ridiculous purchases:
Because I love to read, I started thinking about talking books and so many images crossed my mind, I have to share them with you. I pictured Julia Child reading the sex scenes from my favorite romance novel. Think about her voice….
I could also picture Sam Heughan reading my recipe book so I can still “cook”. Just imagine that Scottish brogue and that deep voice.
I thought about my Twitter fun and realized I could use voice activated messaging. However with Autocorrect there could be some interesting results.
Which is clearly something I would never say! Another TW problem would be others overhearing convos I might not want to share. As it is, Hubs thinks I’m having a seizure if I laugh out loud at a convo. Usually he just runs in, stuffs a padded tongue depressor in my mouth and walks away. If he heard the convo I was laughing at…..
So, mid-September I will be having surgery on both eyes. I hope to see things a little clearer both mentally and physically. I just wanted everyone to know there can be a good and funny side to almost anything if you have the right attitude! Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you drip on the floor, slip and fall. Here’s looking at you, Fritters!